How to Write a First Message That Gets a Reply
The hardest part of any dating platform is the first message. Here's how to write one that actually gets a response.
Read the profile first
This sounds obvious, but most people skip it. Reference something specific from their About section or one-liner. It immediately shows you're genuinely interested and not sending copy-paste messages.
Keep it short and warm
You don't need to write an essay. Two or three sentences is perfect. Introduce yourself, say something genuine about their profile, and ask an open question.
Avoid generic openers
"Hey, how are you?" is the fastest way to be ignored. "I noticed you're into jazz — any recommendations for a first-time listener?" is far more likely to spark a reply.
Be honest about what you're looking for
Don't dance around it. If you're a Provider looking for a specific type of arrangement, say so warmly and directly. It saves everyone time.
Follow up once
If you don't get a reply after a few days, one polite follow-up is fine. After that, move on — not everyone checks messages daily.